This Christmas season has been rough. There’s no denying it. And it seems as though everything came crashing down today. So I decided to do something for myself. I’m giving myself a Christmas gift.
There are times when I wish that gift would be something chocolate, or some wine, and normally it would be. I mean come on, why not unwind a little bit and relax? But this year, I’m giving myself something different. I’m giving myself peace.
I can finally have peace of mind. This comes after God has kicked me around a bit. I’ve had my Job time this year. And unfortunately, I haven’t come out of it with my faith as intact as Job’s, but I’m working on it. Everyone goes through these times. I’ve fought my depression as if it’s a huge war I’m waging. Now I’m calling a truce, at the very least, and hopefully this will be a full all out stop to the war.
What is happening is that I’ve finally realized, to the fullest extent, that my place is not working for the church. See, here’s the deal. A while back there was a job opening at the local elementary school for someone to teach reading and be a playground aide. I considered, but then backed away from it through fear of the unknown. However, after being kicked around a bit more, there are two more openings. One at the elementary again, and this is the kicker: there’s one at the high school! The ages in which I am most adept at teaching! It’s only for the second semester of the school year, and no promises after that (the local school didn’t meet Annual Yearly Progress, which means they have to do something about the test scores). I really feel that I’m being led toward this. I can’t explain why. I just do. So I’ll try for it. If I get it, wonderful! If I don’t…Well, we’ll work that out later. I also know not to quit the job at the church quite yet. I still need that income to help me out until I know for sure what will happen with this job.
So, with a plan in place, I give myself peace. Granted I may need some help from the friendly local pharmacist (Xanax is wonderful still!), but overall I will have peace. I will let go of what I cannot control. I will not worry about it. I will be fine. So peace be with you! (If you’re Lutheran, I dare you to not answer, even in your mind: And also with you!)
