Bustin' Out

In which the layered look goes wrong; and only Matt and my pastor knew about it.

Being Sunday, and being the pious individuals we are, we got up early and got ready for church.

I already had the girls’ clothes picked out and ready, and I found something for myself to wear as well.  I was doing a layered bit with a tank top underneath a green button down shirt.  My dilemma was whether to include a bra with the ensemble or not, as the tank top had a built in bra.  I decided for more support. 

This particular tank top has adjustable straps, but being well used no longer really stay adjusted.  And I have a fifteen month old monkey to wrangle.

And today was no exception for Emily.  She was all over, getting into everything, trying to crawl under pews, examining the contents of my purse, etc.  My poor tank top couldn’t keep up.  Literally.

Cue communion time.  When it was our turn, we told Kirstin to stay in the pew, and I carried Emily up front with me.   I placed her standing at the rail while I knelt behind her.  Pastor came with the wafers, he handed one to me, and I looked down.

Oh my!

Hello girls!  I shouldn’t be seeing you here.

I left the top button of my shirt unbuttoned to facilitate the layered look, and my tank top was below my breasts.  All that was there was cleavage and bra. Laughing silently (we’re pious, you know, no laughing during communion!), I moved the button down shirt slightly to cover up a little more, while being thankful I had Emily to cover up the rest of me while I was walking back to the pew.  Also being thankful I had included the bra with the outfit instead of relying on the built in bra in the tank top.  That would have been a whole lot more to show.

And of course, when I got back to the pew, I buttoned the top button of my shirt completely, and told Matt what happened.  He too laughed about it.  No one else but Pastor could have known because I had Emily in my arms and covering anything that was going on with my wardrobe.  It wasn’t until church was over that I was able to find a quiet moment to fix the tank top.  I’m thinking it’s about time to retire it if it can’t keep up to the activity. 

And of course I had to laugh about it to our friends, who understand completely the challenges of being properly dressed while wrangling kids.

So tired

I have a blog post I'd like to make, but every day it seems I'm so tired out and just can't get myself to sit down and write.  Hopefully one of these days soon I'll be able to get it done. 

I want to write about two letters of the alphabet that change so many words.  It's amazing what comes to me while I'm in bed waiting for my mind to wind down enough to sleep.  And for once, I remember most of the thought process.  If I kept a journal up there to write in, I'd never get sleep, otherwise I would.  

So why am I so tired?  Well, Kirstin has nightmares a lot lately.  That gets me a crying child running into my room late at night.  I get up, take the time to see if she can calm down enough to tell me what happened, get her a drink of water, and back to bed she goes.  Then Emily gets up during the night too.  I went from a full-night baby to one who wakes up screaming; usually between two and three in the morning.  She takes more time to calm down.  I've tried just laying her down in her crib again and rubbing her back or tummy, but that does no good.  If anything, her screams get louder.  I've tried just picking her up and holding her, swaying back and forth.  That does quiet her some, but when it comes time to go back in the crib, the screams start again and I get a stiff as a board baby who is clinging to me.  So, down the stairs we go to the rocking chair.  If rocking doesn't help, then it's to the kitchen for a cup of milk.  And now I fear I'm spoiling her and she expects that every time she wakes up at night. 

Last night I did change it up a little, and only gave her water, which seemed to work okay, and I also gave her a cup of milk right before bed.  Still woke up screaming, but then I didn't feel so bad about giving her just water.  Now today I noticed she was chewing on many things, including Kirstin's brand new flip flops.  So I took a look, and yup, we have more teeth coming.  These are eye teeth, so tonight after her cup of milk I gave her some medicine.  Here's hoping to a full night's sleep and a better blog post to come! 

Reading List

 I never got a summer reading list whilst I was in school.  I never needed one.  I was the type to be told to go play outside instead of reading my books.  I would then go outside, move the lawn chairs around a bit, then sit and read in the middle of the yard. 

Because I've never truly had a reading list, I've made up my own.  Some books on there are classics, some are just fun, and all of them hold and interest for me for whatever reason.  The titles are from all over the world.  The United States is most prevalent, but I've got a title from India, some from France, and some from Russia.  England is the next most prevalent behind the United States.   And as I type I can think of at least three more titles I should add to the list:
Don Quixote by Cervantes
Cry the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
Nervous Conditions by Tsi Tsi Dangarembga

The problem, if you can call it that, is that I just added 18 more titles to my reading list.  At this rate I'll never get through it.  That's the glory of a list though: You can add or subtract titles (which I've never done) at your whim.  It shows a number of titles you've read throughout the years.  This list is not comprehensive by any means.  Usually I'll read a book from the list and then that turns into many offshoots from that one book.  Once I get done with the offshoots (or tired of them, as the case may be), I go back to the list and try another book.

Currently I'm attempting to get through some Russian literature by reading "The Karamazov Brothers" by Fyoder Doestevsky.  Now that I'm finally into it a ways, it's easier reading.  At first I was just trying to get all the characters figured out.  The only book I've not been able to figure out so far is "The Silmarillion" by Tolkien.  That is one book that requires a flow chart and frequent stops to consult it. After the Russian Lit I may try some English Lit again, or maybe I'll pick up one of the books I listed above.  Who knows?  That's also the wonderful thing about a list: If you have it written down you can consult the list instead of asking yourself, "What was that book again?"

All hail the book lists!

Creating

I create. 

Many things.

I created dress and tank top patterns for Kirstin.  I'm still in the sewing phase of that.  I just don't really think about it, I just do it.  Sometimes things turn out.  Other times I waste a lot of time on something that just doesn't look right. 

I often create random dishes and ideas for something that may taste good.  If they don't turn out, well, hopefully the dogs will eat it, so all the food doesn't go completely to waste. 

And then tonight: I created music. 

I have a later learner book.  The end song in that book is Variations on the Theme from the Celebrated Canon in D. 

It's a very pretty song.  However, I know I have to go back and practice some of the lessons in the book, as my fingers just can't do what the music says.  I've adapted as I've played it, until it was almost unrecognizable to what was really on the page.  So, through an open source program kind of like Finale, I redid it to what I usually play.  It turned out pretty good. I saved it to a PDF file and printed it.  Now I just have to wait until tomorrow to try it out on the piano. 

My next creation?  A gnome fantasy land in my yard.  That's still in the drawing up phase, and a gnome still needs to be procured.  I found a couple at Menards, but they were too brightly colored for my taste.  He/She/It will have it's own home in my yard where currently some day lilies are living.  There's a stump there and I have a couple of logs from a downed branch.  I'm going to paint and seal all of it so it lasts for a while out there, and there will be a little gnome garden and such.  I'll teach Kirstin about gnomes, and help her keep her own fantasy land for as long as possible.  Mostly because those are good excuses to have a gnome in my yard.  The best excuse I can find though: I'm not allowed to get pink flamingos.  Matt won't let me.  He says they're tacky.  So gnomes it is.  Instead of tacky they're kitschy. 

And now it's time to create a world in my mind as I read my book and relax before bed.  What wonderful days!

It's Not Astrological

Here we go again.  Another round of passive-aggressive bullshit.

If people could just come out and say what they mean, this stuff would be over so much sooner.

Background: We spent the weekend at my folks' place.  Things went pretty well, all things considered, but once again, my husband and my sister-in-law did not get along. 

Usually they just ignore each other in a live and let live way, and that's what happened this time around.  However, in a very public manner they have started up.  I have no idea what's going on.  I mean, I know from Matt's side because he tends to be very vocal.  He has always said, "I am who I am and if you don't like it that's fine."

And it is, but I'm not sure exactly what's going on with Erin's side.  And in an effort to stay out of it, I'm not sure I really do want to know.  But I am confused as to what some of things she's written on my DAD'S FACEBOOK page mean.  (Matt is going to apologize to my father later on for his part in it, he's at work right now).  I know some things didn't go as planned this weekend.  Like we had a child meltdown in the middle of the night and had to take care of it, which led to Matt yelling and swearing once at Kirstin.  At about 2:00 a.m.   None of us like how that turned out, but no one else really knew what was going on in the room, and without that knowledge can actually judge what happened.  That, and no parent is perfect and keeps patience constantly, nor should one pretend to. 

The way these two act and react to one another has to be a nature/nurture thing or something.  I know it's not because of birth dates.  My sister-in-law and I share a birthday.  Is it just the different ways we've grown up?  I really don't know.  I just know to keep my nose out of it and let whatever will happen, happen.  I just wish there were more clarity in the statements made. 

"I am pissed off because..." makes so much more sense than talking about something else entirely.  Confrontation is rarely pleasant, but damn, if something is bothering you, say it and let it out there so people know and don't have to try to read your mind.  Anger is anger.  It's not a sin.  Blood pressure rises when you bottle it all up.

Thank you.

Forays into femininity

How to find one's feminine side?

That's a question I've been pondering.

I've been working on a dress for myself for once.  It's yellow.  It's nice.  And I screwed it up royally, but it's still fixable.  I cut into the skirt while trimming a seam.  Still not happy about it, but it's workable.  So that didn't work out the way I thought it would.

So what else could I do find my feminine side?

We're heading out of town this weekend.  We're going to stay in a hotel with a pool, and Kirstin just got a new swimsuit.  Matt doesn't do pools and the like, so I'm going to have to be the one to go with her.

Cue hair removal.

I'm a shaver.  It works well and I'm comfortable with it.  But there's always a little bit of hair around the bikini line that I can never get.  Hmm...So the last time we went shopping I found an at home waxing kit.

And no, I did NOT do my bikini area.  Yet.  I thought to be safe I'd try it in the arm pits first.

Tonight was the perfect evening to try my new hair removal system.  Matt is at opening night for his play, and Kirstin is there along with Grandpa and Grandma.  It's just Emily and me at home.  Emily isn't as likely to remember any fun words I may use.

We had supper, I cleaned up, and then I got out the wax stuff, read the directions.  Then I reread the directions, and read them one more time.

Into the microwave it went, and "spreadable" consistency was achieved.

Alright, this shouldn't be too difficult.  Except for...

What they don't put on the box.

They don't tell you that this stuff is so sticky it could glue your grandmother to the ceiling.  And it gets EVERYWHERE!  So working with sticky fingers, and trying to not get wax all over the place, I apply it to my underarm.  Then I wrestle to get one of the papers free (should have done that right away, before touching the wax), and put it over the applied wax.  I tamp it down and pull.

And there was slight pain, but nothing too horrid.  And no hair removed.  What the heck?

There's wax on the paper still, so I apply it to my other underarm.  Pat it down and pull...

OUCH!  But still, not too bad.  This time some hair came out.  Huh.  Must have used too much wax.  I'll try it again on the otherside without adding any more wax.  EUREKA!  It worked.  Alright.  I can do this.

Until I realize Emily is watching me.  She's raising her arms in the air one at a time and looking to her own little chubby underarms.  And I think to myself: WHAT AM I TEACHING MY DAUGHTER??? (and no more hair is coming out, so I put it off as a bad job anyway).

Is hair other than on your head really that big of a deal?  I think I'll go back to my razor and wear shorts over my swimsuit in the pool.  It's more honest. That and I don't have to grow out the hair so long in order to take care of it.  Just easier all around.   

So instead, tonight I'll work on Kirstin's dress for the weekend.  I made the pattern last night, and I'm going to sew it tonight.  It should go pretty well.  The neat part is that there's enough fabric left over I should be able to make a matching pair of shorts for her to wear underneath for when she's playing.  Sewing is much more soothing than worrying about hair removal any day!

If you're going to take my money...

...at least spend it on something classy!

That's what I told Matt today.  And no, Matt is not taking my money.  Some random person is.

This all started a few nights ago.  I was in a Pogo (online gaming site) game room, and got booted out because "Someone with your username has just entered the room."

Uhh...Okay?

I tried to get back in.  Same message.  Huh.  This seems weird, but maybe it's just a glitch somewhere.

I tried one more time.  I got a message that the Pogo servers were having troubles.  Okay, I guess that would explain it, but I'm still going to watch my bank account carefully.  It still doesn't really feel right.  I also had a doubt about it because we had just been to Matt's folks' place, and I sometimes play Pogo whilst I'm there.  I didn't remember playing Pogo, but that doesn't mean much.  That entire stay was a blur for me. 

Fast forward to today.  We had appointments in town, and I decided to make the most of my running around by going to the library and to the grocery store as well.  At the grocery store I went to use my bank card to pay.  The screen said the card was blocked.  Huh? 

I tried again.  Again it said it was blocked.  Hmm...I need to check this out.  Instead I used our store charge account to pay and came home.  I barely had everyone and everything in the door and I was at my computer checking on my bank account. 

Sure enough, there were charges that I never put there.  There were something like four $1.00 charges to the Apple Store and Netflix...Two services I have never used.  Uh oh.

I called Matt first and left a message (he was at lunch yet).  Then I got my brain going straight again, and I called the bank.  First I got put through to customer service, and after verifying who I was and explaining my problem, I got put through to the fraud department where I had to go through the same verification process.  Good to know they do that, too. 

Turns out my bank was aware something was going on because charges were being made that were far out of my spending habits.  They put a block on my account last night.  Yay!  I mean, it was a little bit of a hassle not being able to pay for groceries in the manner in which I wanted, but that's doable.  Turns out the person/people that stole my card number tried to charge over $950.00 to QVC and something like $1500.00 to walmart.com. 

Which is where my statement about taking my money comes from.  QVC?  Seriously?  And walmart.com?  I NEVER buy anything through walmart.com.  I find their website incredibly difficult to use and can never find what I'm looking for anyway.  Walmart is better experienced in the real world, in my opinion. 

But the good thing is that I don't have to pay any of what the thieve(s) tried to take from me.  My bank completely shut down that card number, and gave me a confirmation number to use to find out more about my case.  I should have a new card in ten business days.  In the meantime I can't use my account.  That's fine.  I can live without that for a little while just to have the peace of mind that it's cared for.  Anything I would use my account for I can get by other means.  I have a charge account at the grocery store.  And a charge account at the local co-op for gas.  Really, I don't foresee needing anything else for quite a while.  I mean, it would be nice to be able to get Matt a birthday gift, but I will still have time after my account is usable again for that.  In the meantime I can do a lot of looking and price comparisons. I love the research portion of stuff like that!

Oh and I changed my password and took my personal info off my Pogo account.  I don't foresee this being a problem again through there.

But to anyone who would try to steal my money...Use it on something classy or useful, okay?  At least try a charge at some upscale clothing store or something.