Bad Mom Moment

I’m a terrible mother. 

I really am.

Not always.  I can pull off some amazing mommy moments when teaching my girls, like making up the notecard game to help Kirstin learn some first words, or teaching Emily how to say, “I love you” after giving hugs.  Those are fun times.

But then there are the times when I’m tired, cranky, and putting up with whiny, cranky kids.  Then I tend to get more sarcastic and mean.  I also make assumptions that can hurt others.

So what happened?

I told Kirstin I flushed Mongo the cat down the toilet.

It all started with getting ready to go to the parade in town.  I had the girls ready, and I took a second to go to the bathroom.  We tend to keep an open door policy with the bathroom.  I think of it as modeling good behavior for the girls.  Really, it’s just a lack of modesty and laziness.  I was just turning to flush the toilet and the shower curtain moved outward. 

It startled me, especially as part of the curtain took the shape of a big cat paw.  I knew what was going on, but was startled, none-the-less.  So I yelled,

“Holy crap!”

Matt laughed and said I didn’t know Mongo was between the curtains.  Obviously I didn’t because otherwise I wouldn’t have yelled.

Kirstin heard the name, Mongo, and assumed he was in the toilet for whatever reason.  She didn’t see what was happening and put two and two together and got five, I guess.

So, the inevitable question came.

“Did you just flush Mongo down the toilet?”

The night before we’d gone to see fireworks at the Traverse County fair, and wound up visiting with Matt’s Aunt, Uncle, and cousins (that’s a fun story too).  We didn’t get home till after midnight.  Now, me, being tired from getting home so late the night before coupled with an odd inability to sleep after that, answered in my usual sarcastic way when I feel like that:

“Yes, Kirstin, I did flush Mongo down the toilet.”

I figured she knew that Mongo wouldn’t fit down the toilet, and that he would probably not like being in the toilet in the first place and just jump out.  I was completely and horribly wrong.

Cue tears and sobbing.

She thought she lost a beloved pet, again.  She wouldn’t stop even after I procured Mongo from the shower curtain and brought him out for her to pet.  She didn’t even really stop after I held her and rocked her.  All the while apologizing and telling her it was a joke and I shouldn’t joke like that with her because she takes things so seriously.  She didn’t stop crying till her dad gave her a hug and told her we’d better get to the parade or she’d miss out on all the candy.  Then it was like nothing happened and she was all smiles and antics again. 

By the way, the parade was fun as usual.  Kirstin was the only kid in our section so she got a TON of candy.  Of course, no kid needs that much candy, so to save her teeth I decided to take one for the team and eat some, too.  I mean, if it saves a child some trouble, it must be okay, right?

Another Creative Endeavor

Finally, able to take some time to write a little bit.  

Actually, I’m sitting at my desk with a cup of coffee and a muffin.  I was going to read some of my online stuff and then realized that I have no more to read online. 

And yet, there are dishes to be done, laundry to be folded, floors to vacuum, and all that good stuff to do today and motivation is just not there for right now.

So, I write.

I have been quite busy.  I got an idea into my brain and I just can’t let it go.  I want to make a quilt for Kirstin for her 5^th birthday in March. 

But I don’t quilt.

Hmm…

So I talked to Matt’s aunt Jo about it.  She can piece together quilts, but does only squares. 

Hmm… again…

Hey! I know! I can personalize it by embroidering a bunch of blocks with pictures and words that remind me of Kirstin.

And now I sit with embroidery in my hands while Emily is napping and after the girls go to bed.  I have all kind of pictures to embroider onto blocks of fabric.  

Only other problem: It’s been years since I last did anything like this.  I knew I needed help of some kind.  So I searched the web for any kind of tutorials I could find and came across Mary Corbet’s Needle NThread blog.  

How cool is that!  She even put up video tutorials of the different stitches, includes patterns, reviews embroidery books, and offers advice to anyone who asks.  I have learned much from this website. 

Now, this creative endeavor is going pretty well.  I made use of the local fabric shop for thread, needles, and fabric.  I even bought a little embroidery hoop from there, but it didn’t work well.  I got better ones from my Mom in law.  I’m all set, I just have to go with Jo to get the rest of the fabric, embroider all the pieces that need it, and get them to Jo.  It should be a fun project.  And I get to repeat it in a few years when Emily gets to be the same age.  

Otherwise I’ve just been knocking titles off my reading list.  I’ve read items by Henrik Ibsen, H.G. Wells, and am in the process of reading Cervantes’ Don Quixote. 

The reading list is something I’m never going to finish.  As I put X’s by the title’s I’ve read, I add new titles to it.  I just love books! With my reading list, I also get a sense of accomplishment as I finish a book and can put an X by the title.  Some of the books I like more than others.  Some I may read again, and others, well, not so much...But I'm getting a taste of all different kinds of literature.  It's wonderful!

Raising a Writer

“Give me a broken piece of heart!”

“Do you like my song Mama?”

Why yes, it’s a beautiful song, but it’s a little sad isn’t it?

“No, not at all Mama!  I just haven’t found the right words yet for when the heart isn’t broken anymore!”

I’m not sure where she even got the words “broken piece of heart.”  We always have so much music playing around here it’s tough to say.

But Kirstin does touch on something that every writer goes through: Finding the right words to convey the story, emotion, chaos, etc. with the pizzazz that will make readers think, “WOW! I know this!”

And that makes me realize just how grown up she is.  It all started with a haircut.

Before she looked like this:

Emily and Kirstin enjoying the sunny day

My little girl, and she would always be my little girl.

Then, we got her hair cut. 

Nora, Landon, Kirstin, and April singing in the VBS closing service.

Now all of a sudden she grew up on me.  She has good insights on people and situations.  She’s fun to listen to (though not ALL of the time).  She tries new things all the time.  She’s becoming more daring, a little more sassy, and tried swearing a few times.  All of which puts my heart into my throat, frustrates me, and makes me laugh.  It’s very difficult to tell a child not to use some words when you’re laughing.  Like when she said, “That f---ing d..n computer just doesn’t work!”

At least she used the correct context.  And yes, she gets that from me.  While I don’t normally swear around the kids, sometimes when things aren’t working right I slip up.  And yes, I’ve used those words when my computer wasn’t working the way I wanted it to.

And now I believe I may have a writer on my hands.  I want to encourage her to put her thoughts down on paper, as soon as she can write.  Right now she draws pictures a lot.  Who knows, maybe I have the next great poet, novelist, or playwright on my hands.  She’s still young enough that her imagination isn’t inhibited by anything.  It’s my hope that it never becomes that way.